When a couple meets and begins the process of dating and falling in love, something extraordinary happens. Life becomes more exciting. You might even say THEY feel more alive. Concentrating on school and work become more difficult, other friendships may take a back seat, and much of normal day to day living just doesn’t seem to matter anymore.
What clearly does matter? Making your partner happy!
During this stage of courtship and early marriage the human brain releases heightened levels of chemicals which impact how we think and feel over time. These chemicals are designed to help us feel happy, energetic, and increase our ability to feel connected to each other. This process is nature’s way of supporting the creation of a strong, meaningful relationship.
Over time, the chemicals will return to more normal levels. This means we often stop putting efforts into doing those things that contributed to our partners happiness and helped us feel deeply connected to one another.
There is a notable amount of research suggesting that couples who participate in rituals of connection in their marriages are better able to maintain increased levels of happiness, energy, and connection—perhaps not to the levels they experienced in the earliest parts of their relationship—and yet with significantly positive results.
In a previous post I shared some principles and ideas about Daily Connection Rituals. If you want to learn more, you can read about them here.
In this post, I’ll focus on what Dr. William Doherty calls Love Rituals. The main purpose of Love Rituals is to tell your partner, “I love you and you matter to me."
Love rituals are ways to say, "I treasure you, you are my special one." - William Doherty
You can do all kinds of loving things for your partner and of course you should, but remember, a ritual is not a ritual unless the things you do are repeated, coordinated with your partner, and have significant meaning to both of you. For further information on the definition of a marital ritual, click here.
As you read the following ideas other couples have shared as their love rituals, some may feel super sappy. Fortunately, it doesn’t really matter what outsiders think—love rituals are meant to be understood by the couple to whom they belong.
We may not want to incorporate what others are doing in their relationships, and yet we can glean ideas from what works in another’s marriage to help us improve upon our own.
Even the best marriages benefit from self-examination and improvements. And every marriage can benefit from participating in Love Rituals!
Here's to stronger & happier relationships!
Comments